


Things You Said With too Many Miles Between Us

by alistairins



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 13:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3852574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alistairins/pseuds/alistairins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The weeks have turned to months, and the months to years. Alistair still tries to remain in contact with his wife, but correspondence is difficult when he have to guess where she is. While she is away, Alistair has his own troubles with the Grey Wardens, and he tries to tell his wife just what's going on in a series of letters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things You Said With too Many Miles Between Us

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt I received on tumblr!

 

My love,

 

            You’ve only just left and I already miss you. Our last night together was, well… I will cherish it deeply, as it will have to keep me going for however long you’re gone. The other Wardens are already asking questions on this top secret mission you’ve set yourself on, but fear not. I’ll keep your secrets, darling. They think I can’t keep my mouth shut, for whatever reason. I don’t mind that they ask about you though, it’s more of an excuse for me to talk about you.

            I’ll just tell them how much I miss you. Your scent, the feel of your skin, the sound of my name on your lips. I miss the way you look lying next to me, how your hair tickles my face while I sleep. Maybe eventually they’ll stop asking, but I won’t stop thinking about you.

            I’m managing to keep busy. I was contacted by a man named Hawke to help investigate this “red lyrium” that seems to have infected Kirkwall. He seems to know a great deal about the stuff, not quite sure why he’s asked for me specifically but, he might just be trying to pull one over on me

 

I love you always,  
Alistair

 

\---

My love,

 

            It’s been nearly 6 months already. I’ve written and written, trusting that you’ve received my letters. It’s getting harder and harder to track you down. I’ve kept the last (and coincidentally, the first) letter that you wrote. I must say, I was glad to hear you still thinking of me, also, it was hard to explain to the senior Wardens why I was turning so red. You are devilish, even in writing, I’ll have you know.

I hope the search is going well. Or at least well enough. I know it’s dangerous to share your findings in letters that could possibly be intercepted, so I understand if you don’t want to share them. I can’t wait to hear all about it when you get back.

            I miss you more and more. The days are getting… harder, without you. There are still questions, but now they’re questions of “is she alive?” and “when’s the last time you’ve heard from her?” I tell them not to worry, as a little bit of travelling can’t stop my beautiful wife. Though, I would like some reassurance of these facts, just so I can start sleeping again.

            My own investigations are turning up, well… frustrating. Beyond proving that the red lyrium exists, there isn’t much else. No one can seem to go near it without being driven mad, not even dwarves. Hawke tells me that one of his dwarven contact was even infected after being exposed for a length of time. If dwarves and the Knight-Commander of Kirkwall can be infected, what else can this stuff do? I haven’t given up yet, but, I remain stumped. Ah well, he thinks we have another lead.

 

I love you, and I miss you with every breath I take.

 

With all my love,

Alistair

 

P.S. There are some strange whisperings amongst the Orlesian Wardens. These rumors are unsettling. I’ve decided to suspend my red lyrium investigations and I will be travelling to Orlais. I will write back soon.

 

\---- 

 

My beautiful wife,

 

            I hope the road has treated you better than it’s treated me. People aren’t as giving when you say “I’m the Hero of Fereldan’s husband!” Nor do they believe you. It matters not, I’m used to camping. Alone. Is it just me, or is Orlais a lot farther than I remember it being? Ah well, I’m nearly there.

            Your last letter was quite brief. It was good to hear from you, though. It’s only been, what 10 months since you left? Oh how time flies! Of course I’m not angry with you, by the way. What you’re doing… it’s for us. To give us a chance at a real life… and even a family. I can think of no reason to be angry. I miss you, terribly, and it hurts not to have you with me, but I know when you return, it will be forever. And forever, with the possibility of children? With you? Well, I say it’s worth it. I just hope you’re safe and that you still think of me, as I think of you with every beat of my heart.

            Also, Hawke wasn’t too thrilled when I told him I had to suspend my investigations with him. He said he understood, though, and that if the Wardens needed me I should go. He told me, however, to be very careful with who I trust with such sensitive information. I think he knows something.

 

Forever and always yours,

Your loving husband,

 

P.S. Has news of the Conclave reached you? Supposedly it will be our salvation from this mage vs. Templar mess.

 

 

 ----

 

 

My Love,

 

            I fear that there is corruption amongst the Grey Wardens of Orlais. Something is… not right. The chain of command is far more secretive than the Ferelden Wardens, so I can’t get much out of them. They’re allowing me some semblance of privilege, due to our actions with the Blight but… I don’t know. They’re definitely keeping me at arms length. There’s some mysterious new advisor for Warden-Commander Clarel, someone I believe who is not a Warden. But, as per usual, I get the cold shoulder if I even bring it up.

            I believe they’re starting to suspect me an as enemy. I’ll have to tread a bit a lighter. It’s gotten worse after news of the explosion of the Conclave. The tension here was so thick, I could nearly cut it with my sword. Hawke wrote to me recently, informing me to lie low. I need to see just what exactly it is that he knows.

            It’s been nearly a year now. I still dream of you, and it’s still shocking every time I wake up and you’re not there. What I wouldn’t give to be with you now. It hurts not having you with me, I just… feel lost at the moment. Forgive my whining. I miss you and I just wish to hear from you.

 

I love you,

Alistair

\---- 

 

Love of my life,

 

            I… I’m not quite sure how to say this. It’s hard to even believe; I thought I’d have more time. It’s dawning on me, that I might not. I can barely stop shaking I just…

My love, I fear that I… I’ve started hearing The Calling. I woke up with this… music in my head. It’s a song that sends a chill right down to your bones. It’s telling me… telling me that I am going to die. Nothing is quiet anymore, it’s all I hear. I can’t make it stop, I fear I might be going a bit mad.

            Please tell me that you’ve found something, anything! Tell me you’re on your way back with a cure!! If not, then I would… prefer to spend my last moments with you. I beg you, please write back soon. I’m… I’m scared.

 

Please. Write back.  
Alistair

 

\---- 

 

My dear,

            It seems as thought every Warden in Orlais has begun to hear The Calling. How can this be? Has a Calling of this magnitude ever been recorded? I have found no evidence to suggest so, but… something is happening to the Grey Wardens. I need to find out what is going on.

            Have you begun to hear it to? Or is it just Orlais? The music grows louder with each passing day. I hope I can get to the bottom of this before my time is up.

 

I love you,

Alistair

 

\----

 

Love,

 

            The Wardens of Orlais have been compromised. Blood magic and demon armies involved. They’re scared, fearing the mass death of all Grey Wardens, and they’re resorting to rather extreme measures. I’ve told them as much, but doing so I’ve been branded as a traitor once again, a ‘kill on sight’ type of traitor, so I must suspend all contact with you for now. The Champion says he’ll aid me in my hiding, he’s a bit of an expert at it. This will be the last letter from me for a while.

 

I love you still,

 

\----

 

My love,

 

            I’m still alive. Will write soon.

 

Love,  
A

 

\----

 

My dearest wife,

 

            Corypheus. Does this name mean anything to you?

I miss you.

 

Love,

A

 

\---- 

 

My love,

 

            I’m safe, for the moment. The Wardens are still actively hunting me, but… I’ve found safety inside the walls of a fortress called Skyhold, with an organization known as the Inquisition. They’re a good group, led by an astonishing woman. A bit like you, but not as beautiful, of course..

            We’ve found that a magister named Corypheus is behind The Calling, and if we stop him then the Wardens might cease to hear it. I fear what the Wardens have planned… and in turn, what Corypheus has planned for the Wardens. We have a lead on his plans for the Wardens, and we’re ready to act. But first, the Inquisitor has to make a pit stop at the Winter Palace to “negotiate.” Guess there’s always time for a bit of dancing and political intrigue.

Please, joking aside, be safe. It’s been nearly two years, and I haven’t heard from you in…. Maker knows how long. For all I know, you could be…. But you aren’t. I know you are very much looking for a cure, and that you’re going to be successful. I just… Maker’s breath, I wish you’d say something. Anything.

            I’ve asked the Inquisition to track you down. They’ll be sending a letter with more detailed information on Corypheus, along with this one. Andraste preserve me, I hope this makes it to you.

            The music in my head is all I can hear these days. It drowns out even the memories of the sound of your sweet voice. I hope to hold you again soon. I don’t know how much more I can take.

 

I love you dearly,

Alistair

 

\---- 

 

My beautiful wife,

 

            It was good to finally hear from you. Thank you. I can sleep easier tonight knowing you’re alive.

            The music is still too loud.

 

With love, always,

 

\---- 

 

Warden Amell,

 

            I’ve returned to Orlais, if you are at all curious. There aren’t many Orlesian Wardens left. I cut many down myself at Adamant Fortress, along with the Inquisition. They were trying to raise a demon army, and didn’t realize they were being manipulated by Corypheus.

            Corypheus, remember? The magister lord who’s attempting to take over the world? You did receive my letters, right? I’m not just wasting my time informing you of my life? You seem to care so much, with all three letters you wrote.

            Forgive me, if I am a touch bitter. I lost… so much at Adamant. I lost a good friend… you recall what that’s like, right?

I also met someone at Skyhold who… who I was guaranteed to never have contact with. His name is Kieran.  
            Do you even read these? Do you even care? Why would you. You’re the great Hero of Fereldan, off saving the Wardens once more!  
            Are you, though? Did you save them from demons? From blood sacrifice? From themselves?

            No. Neither did I.

And they’re calling me Warden-Commander now, due to my heroic slaying of my brethren.

 

_Alistair pushed back from the desk, the angry letter in hand. Hot, angry tears threatened to fall as he tore the paper in half._

_He picked up the ink he had been using and threw it, watching it smash against the wall._  
  
He began to feel deeply ashamed of what he had just done, and of the words he had written.  
He knew it wasn’t her fault. He missed her terribly, and the pressure mounting on him was beginning to weigh him down. He was never meant to be a leader, it was her. It was always her.

_He just wanted her there, to hold him, to reassure him, to tell him that she loved him._

_“Warden-Commander Alistair, is everything alright?” A young warden questioned him. “I’m fine,” he said solemnly. “I’m just… writing a letter to my wife. Would you mind fetching me some paper and ink, please?”_

_The Warden returned with his supplies and Alistair sat down, preparing to write once more, this time, with a cooler head and a longing heart._

My dearest love,

 

            I miss you. I love you. Return to me safely.

 

Love,

(acting) Warden-Commander of Orlais,


End file.
